BrokenCowboy: Sports Views with a West Coast Bias

G.O.A.T.

I'm not typically one to criticize an athlete for posturing. I love Sammy Sosa's home run hop and Shaquille O'Neal's post-slam stalk up the court. As a kid, I even imitated Mark Gastineau's sack dance while playing two-hand touch in the street. In general, I think it's okay for an athlete to take a moment (just a moment) to soak up the spotlight when he or she has achieved something special.

And then there's Maurice Greene, the self-proclaimed greatest of all time. Mo Greene won the gold medal in the mens 100 meter dash in the 2000 Sydney Olympics, owns a few world championship golds, held the world record in the event for a while, and has run three of the four fastest times in history, but fell short of living up to his G.O.A.T. tattoo when he could manage only a bronze at these Athens games. I have nothing against Greene, but even if he had won, I don't think that victory would have elevated him past Carl Lewis, a two-time gold medal winner himself.

So now that Justin Gatlin has removed Greene form the conversation, who really is the greatest track and field athlete of all time? Based on my limited knowledge, and what I've seen in the past twenty years, there are really only two names -- Carl Lewis and Michael Johnson. (I would have included Marion Jones had she qualified for more than just the 200 in Athens; without any world records she'd have to have two dominant Olympics to be considered.)

But back to Lewis and Johnson. Lewis's career is stunning both in its brilliance as well as its diversity, as he excelled in three events -- 100 meters, 200 hundred meters, and the long jump. He won five individual world championship golds and seven Olympic golds during his career, he briefly held the world record in the 100, and is unquestionably the greatest long jumper in history. He won an amazing four consecutive gold medals in the long jump from 1984 to 1996. He was never able to claim the world record in that event, but he did knock out three twenty-nine foot leaps in 1991 world championships, losing to Mike Powell's flukish 29'4" jump.

Michael Johnson, meanwhile, simply ran like no man before or since. He dabbled in the hundred, but dominated the 200 and 400, winning a total of six world championships and three Olympic golds over those two distances, including his historic 200/400 double in the 1996 Atlanta games. He currently holds the world records in both of his signature events, and the times appear to be untouchable.

So who is the true G.O.A.T? I'd have to go with Lewis. Differing opinions will be entertained, but agreement will be praised. I realize I have only three loyal readers, but two of them are trackheads. I expect opinions from both of them.

Blogging Athens

I had a cool idea a few days ago. Wouldn't it be fun to follow the Olympics through the blogs of the athletes who are there competing? There must be dozens. Hundreds even.

So I spent an hour or so with my friends at Google, and I quickly discovered that the International Olympic Committee (IOC) has essentially banned blogging from within the Olympic Village. (Is the IOC trying to help maintain my OIC?) Anyway, the IOC, in its infinite self-importance, feels that any reporting of Olympic events -- even via a humble blog -- constitutes a form of media. If an individual wanted to buy blogging rights, the same way NBC purchased the television rights, he or she could blog away. To date, the blogging rights are still available.

There is some good news, though. There are two brave souls who are brazenly flouting the IOC's ban. United States swimmer Scott Goldblatt, who recently helped the mens 4x200 meter freestyle relay team qualify for the finals, where they would win the gold medal, has kept his blog active throughout the games, giving readers insight into an athlete's daily life in the Olympic Village.

Another perspective can be found at Stuart Hughes's site, a blog run by a BBC reporter in Athens to cover the games. He posts on expected topics, like the shame of the two Greek athletes dismissed from the games, and finds interesting stories that aren't always told on NBC, like that of the three athletes sent to Athens to represent the tiny nation of Kiribati. Check out both these sites -- there's good stuff there.

Olympic Isolation Chamber

I remember when the Summer Olympics were in Atlanta eight years ago. It was all so simple. When it was time for Michael Johnson to run the 400 meters, I clicked on the television and watched it live, only three time zones away. Things are different now.

With the games taking place on the other side of the world in Athens, Greece, the events don't fit into prime time, no matter how much NBC might like them to. The finals have been taking place during the early hours of my California morning, but I've chosen to wait for the tape-delayed airing of the events during the evening, experiencing my own "plausibly live" Olympics. In order to do so, I've had to submerge myself into an Olympic Isolation Chamber (OIC). Want to join me? Here's how to build your very own OIC in ten simple steps:

1. Do not watch SportsCenter. If you do, you will certainly be bombarded with medal counts, race results, and still photos of celebrating athletes.

2. Do not watch ESPNews, since the Bottom Line will crawl right into your OIC.

3. If you must watch ESPNews, perhaps to catch some baseball highlights, and feel that you can click the remote quickly enough should you feel an Olympic report coming, you MUST disable the Bottom Line. You can do this in one of two ways. First, there is Option 1. Stack several books, video tapes, or any other readily available rectangular objects in front of the television, bringing them to a height that will COMPLETELY obscure the lower two inches of your television screen, thereby thwarting the Bottom Line. For obvious reasons, Option 1 is not foolproof. If you are concerned about the reliability of Option 1, or if there are small children living in your household, proceed to Option 2. Use regulation black electrical tape to COMPLETELY obscure the lower two inches of your television screen, thereby thwarting the Bottom Line. If you worry that your wife will not appreciate this, use the electrical tape to obscure the UPPER two inches of your television screen as well, creating a letterbox effect for a fraction of the cost of a high-definition television.

4. You may watch Baseball Tonight. This is probably safe, since the Bottom Line on this show only gives baseball scores and stats. Still, this is a risk. You never know when an anchor might slip something in like this: "And just like Michael Phelps did tonight, Gary Sheffield crushes the competition." You're probably better off skipping this as well. Might not be worth the risk.

5. Do not watch network or local news, not even NBC or the local affiliate. They might warn you to look away or press mute before giving Olympic results, but you can bet that they'll give them. And what if your mute button doesn't work?

6. If you must use the internet during the day, reset your startup page so that CNN or ESPN or MSN doesn't come up when you aren't expecting it, bursting your carefully crafted OIC bubble. You'll have to perform this operation quickly, opening your browser and then immediately stopping it, so that nothing loads. If you worry that you might not be able to stop the loading process fast enough, simply cover your ENTIRE screen with a piece of dark construction paper. Once you feel enough time has elapsed, SLOWLY slide the construction paper downward, revealing only a little bit of the screen at a time. When you can see the address field, type in any website which will not violate the terms of your OIC. Allow us to suggest a safe start-up page: www.brokencowboy.com

7. Do not listen to the radio in the car. You could try listening to your favorite music station, but just like with Baseball Tonight, you never know. You're best bet is to spin some CD's. Looking for something new? How about "Chutes Too Narrow," by the Shins. Very cool.

8. If you have friends who haven't joined you in the OIC, inform them of your decision to remain in the OIC. If they aren't able to respect your OIC, you must eliminate them from your life during the fortnight. If they aren't willing to rekindle the friendship once the games are over, I'm not sure that they ever really were your friends. And remember, the BrokenCowboy is always your friend.

9. If possible, do not answer the phone. If there is some reason that you must answer the phone, do not make the mistake of answering by saying "Hello." This invites conversation. Instead, answer like this, quickly and politely: "Hello-I've-put-myself-in-an-Olympic-Isolation-Chamber-which-means-that-I'm-doing-everything-humanly-possible-to-avoid-any-and-all-Olympic-news-so-if-you-know-anything-about-today's-events-please-don't-say-anything-because-I'm-planning-on-watching-them-tonight-live-well-not-live-but-plausibly-live..." Again, this is not foolproof. Your best bet is not to answer. But if you have an answering machine, there's the danger that someone could leave results in their message, and your machine could echo the results throughout your house, shattering your OIC. If this is your situation, you should probably eliminate this possible breach by signing up for a voice-mail system from your local phone service provider.

10. Do not open any e-mail. You probably shouldn't even look at a list of your e-mail, since subject lines might contain sensitive information. If possible, configure your Norton Anti-Virus to scan your mail for words such as "Athens" or "gymnastics" or any combination of "gold-silver-bronze." You might also want to include phrases like "world record" or "huge upset." Even with these precautions, e-mail can be exremely dangerous.

By following these simple steps, you can safely construct an Olympic Isolation Chamber (OIC) for you and your family. Perseverance is the key. And remember, if your OIC is compromised on a given day, you can always rebuild it, sealing yourself off from future disappointment. So join me, won't you?

Was I Dreaming?

Yesterday afternoon, Team USA had an opportunity to make a statement. They were playing the first game on the first day of Olympic basketball competition, and they were matched up against Puerto Rico, a team they had handled easily by twenty-five points only days earlier. It seemed perfect. After their pre-Olympic tour had left the rest of the world wondering if this team would be as dominant as previous editions, Allen Iverson, Tim Duncan, and the rest of the junior varsity would have a chance to set everyone straight. All it would take would be a single, dominant effort. After all, even our JV players are infinitely more talented than anything the rest of the world can offer up, right?

Well, yes and no. The talent is clearly there, but that's about it. Mighty Puerto Rico hammered the Americans on Sunday, 92-73. I picked up the action midway through the third period, and I never really saw anything good happen for the Americans. The domination was so thorough, the outcome so certain by that point, that the crowd had even started cheering for Team USA, which had suddenly taken on the role of underdogs and fan favorites.

(One thing, though. Was I the only one who noticed that when Puerto Rico's Eddie Casiano scored towards the end of the third while being fouled by Dwayne Wade he was given credit for a three-pointer, even though both feet were clearly inside the arc, not even touching the line? Turned out, it didn't make a difference.)

Suddenly desperate, the Americans made a run in the fourth period, relying on their superior speed, quickness, and athleticism, but it wasn't enough. Ironically, it is their advantages in those areas that will probably doom Team USA. They will never set foot on the court in Athens against a more talented team, and that works against them. After the game, Jim Gray asked Allen Iverson about how this loss would affect the team's confidence, and Iverson replied, "It won't." And that's the problem.

This collection of talented JV players has nothing but confidence. What they could use is a little humility and a willingness to work together towards a common goal. What was that goal again? Oh, yeah, the gold medal. National pride. That's all.

This demise was predicted here (and just about everywhere else) last week, and a mysterious reader known only as "LudPud" provided an interesting link describing a solution to the problem. The key is in selecting the correct squad, a group that actually resembles a basketball team.

Here's another idea, one that I can't claim credit for. Why not send the reigning NBA championship team? Is there any doubt that Larry Brown's Detroit Pistons would thoroughly dominate these Olympics? Obviously, it would be difficult to get an entire team to commit, but we could try. At this point, we have to try something.

But none of that will help this team, a group of stars who no doubt woke up this morning hoping that yesterday was all just a bad dream. And that's exactly what it was.

Bad Dream Team

If there's one thing we should've learned from this past NBA season, it's this: a good team (Detroit Pistons) filled with good players who are willing to work hard on offense and defense can beat a superstar team (Los Angeles Lakers) that can't or won't play together on either end of the floor. With this in mind, what's happening to Team USA during their pre-Olympic tour shouldn't be too surprizing.

First there was the loss to Italy on Tuesday, and then the last-second win over Dirk Nowitzki and Germany on Wednesday. I suppose it would be easy to say that Iverson, Duncan, and the rest will get it together once the games count, but I'm not so sure. There are too many things going against this Bad Dream Team.

Aside from Duncan and Iverson, this is obviously the junior varsity team. It's hard to imagine a starting five of Shaquille O'Neal, Tim Duncan, Kevin Garnett, Kobe Bryant, and Jason Kidd being pushed at all in any international tournament, but with things the way they are today, it's doubtful we'll ever see all of the top players come together to represent their country, especially not during Games which are held overseas.

Meanwhile, as the U.S. squad has gotten weaker with each successive Olympics since the first incarnation of the Dream Team in 1992, the competition has gotten much stronger. Most of the top teams boast star NBA players, including Yao Ming, Dirk Nowitzki, and Steve Nash, players who have competed with -- and beaten -- the guys on Team USA. As a result, there is no awe of the Americans.

The original Dream Team might have been the greatest team ever assembled in any sport. Consider this: of the twelve men on the team, ten will eventually end up in the Basketball Hall of Fame. (Only Chris Mullin and Christian Laettner, a dubious pick over Shaquille O'Neal, won't make it.) They were so far ahead of their competition that their games were mere exhibitions; they often posed for pictures and signed autographs for their opponents before the opening tip. That probably won't happen in the Athens Olympics.

Instead, Team USA will likely struggle, lose a few games, and end up with something less than a gold medal. Some will report the American loss as a sign that the U.S. has lost its dominance in the sport, but nothing could be farther from the truth. What's been lost is the commitment.