I haven't written anything for almost two weeks, but not for lack of material. There's been an awful lot going on the sporting world. Consider:
• The Patriots cemented their dynasty by winning Superbowl XXXIX. You know what I like about this? Tom Brady's been drawing a lot of comparisons to Derek Jeter lately. Let's look at the similarities: team leaders, winning championships left and right, often cited as the best at their positions even though statistics indicate otherwise, easy on the eyes, date supermodels. To my knowledge, they've never been seen in the same room together...
• Rudy Tomjanovich left the Lakers in the lurch. Two funny things connected with this. First, it took about ten minutes for the LA media to start speculating about a possible Phil Jackson encore. (About as likely as Affleck and J.Lo going another round.) Second, when Kobe Bryant was asked about this possibility, he essentially said that he didn't care. "If they want him back, he'll be back. If not, he won't." Imagine how good Kobe will be when he matures and moves on to high school...
• Duke continued its recent dominance of North Carolina. Sure the 'Heels might be the best team in the land, but they still can't figure out how to beat the Dukies...
• José Canseco named names, and went straight to the top. Not only did he implicate three of the more respected men in baseball (Iván Rodríguez, Rafael Palmeiro, and Mark McGwire), he even threw President Bush under the steroid bus, saying that this abuse took place while Bush owned the Rangers, and he must've known about it. It could be argued, by the way, that Palmeiro's deep into performance enhancing drugs -- he's been pitching Viagra for a couple years now...
Yes, all of these stories are nice, instead I thought I'd write about something that came across my radar this afternoon. Samukeliso Sithole is one of Zimbabwe's most promising young athletes, having won numerous medals in international competition and earning millions of dollars in you. The problem? Sithole competed as a woman, but she's actually a man.
Sithole was born with both male and female sexual organs, but made the choice to live life as a female. Her parents took her to a traditional healer (a common practice in Zimbabwe) who gave her an herbal remedy which made her male genetalia disappear.
Later, when Sithole's family stopped paying for the treatment, the Healer reversed his earlier cure. Tom's penis has since grown back.
Ask yourself -- could I have possibly made any of that up?
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